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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009338">(Un)Predictable</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elofant/pseuds/Elofant'>Elofant</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Wolfstar Songfics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Anxious Remus Lupin, Clumsy Sirius Black, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Graphic imagination of accidents, M/M, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, POV Regulus Black, POV Remus Lupin, Regulus &amp; Sirius like each other, Sirius scaring the shit out of Remus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:27:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009338</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elofant/pseuds/Elofant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Living with Sirius Black was... tumultuous. Remus never knew what the next day would bring. Throw in a hyperactive toddler and this might just spell disaster. <br/>Or: how Sirius Black almost got himself killed three times in one day. Also featuring cookies, a precocious Harry, an amused Regulus and a very tired Remus. </p>
<p>Pre Relationship, basically just Remus making moony eyes :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Regulus Black &amp; Sirius Black, Remus Lupin &amp; Harry Potter, Sirius Black &amp; Harry Potter, Sirius Black &amp; Remus Lupin &amp; Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Wolfstar Songfics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(Un)Predictable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, this got a bit out of hand and has become way longer than my usual stories. It was also finished at 1:30 am. And English is not my first language. So please be kind, let me know any typos you find, if you're so inclined XD. <br/>I have to utter a slight warning here: there is some panicking in this fic. Also the mention of some gore, but don't worry. I like them way to much to hurt any of the boys...right? And bear in mind: Remus head runs away with him a bit, so if you’re uncomfortable around tense situations, just don't worry. Leave that to Remus.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One thing had to be said about life with Sirius Black: it was never boring nor predictable. You might wake up one morning to a blue sky and an exploded kitchen or to grey English weather and a quite adorable attempt at cleaning out the entry way enough to enter while simultaneously destroying Remus’ intricate and absolutely irrational organisational system. </p>
<p>At twenty-five years old, Sirius had never quite lived alone. Sure, he had been living in his own manor of sorts, but always with a butler, a housekeeper and enough serving staff to clean up after him. Not to forget the cook. The first time Sirius had tried to make breakfast… Remus shuddered at the memory. The bacon had been black and the eggs had been basically raw. There was also a pan in the sink, whose bottom was burned so black the only option had been to throw it out. Sirius had never admitted to what he had tried to make in there. Remus suspected tomatoes. Then again, whenever possible, he always suspected tomatoes. Everyone was allowed their pet peeves. Especially after landing on his bum in school once after slipping on, you guessed it, a goddamn tomato slice. Another cooking attempt of Sirius’ had very nearly ended with the fire brigade. </p>
<p>Harry had been over for his weekly stay at “Mooy!”’s place while his parents had some well-deserved time of their own. That “Paafoo” was also there had exited both Harry and Sirius. And boy, did those two have an energy! Running around the flat causing so many close calls with his books. At three years old, Harry knew the fundamental rule to never, ever, ever touch a pile of books, a wall or really any surface with books in Remus flat. Sirius not so much. It had let to a near book slide onto the heads of one esteemed Mr. Black, if Remus had not in the last moment been able to catch the book tower that had lost that one book crucial to its stability when Sirus ran smack into it trying to catch an infinitely more nimble Harry. After that, he strictly forbade any more running and retired to his room to get over the shock. </p>
<p>The shock of the books falling. Absolutely not because of his pounding heart. When he caught the book tower, Sirius had been mere inches from him, grey eyes wide when he realised just what had nearly happened. His chest heaving under those damnably soft looking, threadbare V-necks he wore all the time. Today it was a once-might-have-been-red shirt that was almost thin enough to show more than it hid. And damn it, Remus was only human. </p>
<p>Leaving the room turned out to be a mistake. A mistake, that Remus almost didn’t notice in time. Heart still pounding, he had found solace in Jane Austen, some other peoples romantic failures to get his head away from… it wasn’t even romantic! Absorbed in the book, he had only belatedly realised that is was quiet. And while quiet might have been his favourite thing ever under usual circumstances, quiet with a toddler in the house? Or two toddlers, seeing how Sirius had acted all morning? </p>
<p>Alarmed he put his book to the side, not even sliding a bookmark in, just leaving it open, face down on his reading nook. That could and should be construed as a sign of his alarm, because this was a sure way of breaking the spine, and Remus would never do that to his most dependable friends. But strange silence calls for drastic measures. As fast as possible he made his way over to the living room, where he had left Sirius and Harry to play with crayons. That couldn’t be dangerous, right? Harry knew not to touch the books. Hopefully. Fuck.</p>
<p>Remus lengthened his stride, almost falling on his nose because of a, well, book in his way. The few steps to the living room seemed to take an eternity. A thousand scenarios were wracking his brain. Harry and Sirius drawing in his beloved first edition of Dorian Grey. Harry having somehow eaten a crayon, chocking on it, little face blue. But Sirius would have noticed that, right? Called for help? Worse yet, a vision of both of them on the floor, heads bashed in by fallen books. Sirius on top of Harry in a vain attempt to shield him from the avalanche. So silent. So much red. He should have never collected that many books. If something had happened… it would be irredeemably his fault. He would have practically killed his godson and …flatm…frien… Sirius. </p>
<p>Almost hyperventilating, practically convinced to find corpses behind the innocently half shut door of the living room, he pushed it open and…<br/>Found Harry and Sirius alive and well and… building a fort out of books? Just now Harry was adding a book to the “roof of it” while Sirius crouched behind it. He saw it happen before him, the wall of books wobbled, still held its own. Then Sirius made an abrupt movement, Harry startled, knocking on the wall. The wall of books stacked by a three-year-old, with the stability of a cardboard box after two days in the rain. It wobbled a bit more, toppled in what looked like slow motion…</p>
<p>In three long steps Remus was there, pushing Sirius out of the way of some very heave botanic books cascading over the floor. The Encyclopaedia of Dangerous Wildflowers, a massive book, well over a thousand pages thick, hit where Sirius head had been mere seconds before.  <br/>Remus’ breath rushed out of his lungs as if somebody had punched him. Sirius looked at the book, at Remus, at the book, the rest of the wall that he and Harry had built, at Harry and again at the book. Then he started laughing hysterically. <br/>Harry, bless him, hadn’t understood the gravity of the situation at all, standing there unsure of what had just happened, why Pafoo was laughing and why Mooy looked so worried. His large green eyes wandering between the men, lower lip trembling. He was not quite sure, if crying, laughing or a tantrum on his part was warranted, so he just sat down with all the grace of a toddler and looked at the adults. His eyebrows crinkled critically as he watched them.  </p>
<p>Remus just now became aware of his surroundings again. Sirius was… laughing? <br/>“Do you even understand what just happened, you fool?”, Remus asked incredulously. As a response, Sirius laughter only got louder. He just… laughed. He almost died. His scull was almost shattered in a thousand pieces, leaving bone fragments and brain matter splattered over the carpet, the books. He almost never laughed, never cried, never played with Harry again. He almost never got to go to work again, never talk to his best friends again, never have a glass of wine with Remus again. Harry almost lost his Pafoo right before his little toddler eyes. He would have been traumatized for the rest of his life, most likely blaming himself once he was old enough to understand. Sirius had almost died and ruined other peoples lives with his death and he laughed? </p>
<p>Remus felt white hot anger building within him. With one fluid motion he was on his feet, stepping over to Sirius, pulling him roughly on his feet and shook him with all his might. </p>
<p>“Don’t you fucking understand? You almost died!”, he screamed at Sirius. “You almost fucking got your bloody brainmatter over the godforsaken floor, you utter fool! What were you thinking? You’re a fucking adult! Behave like one!” </p>
<p>Sirius only laughed harder. And higher pitched. He was on the borderline of hysteria, his eyes wide and unfocused. </p>
<p>“I escaped them after twenty-five years only to die a month later”, he squeezed out between burst of laughter. “Sounds like me!” There were tears running down his face now, his frame trying to double over as he wrapped his arms around his waist. “I almost fucking died!”, he wheezed. </p>
<p>“Get over yourself, goddamn it! Think about it, it could have been Harry if that had toppled in the other direction. Are you even listening?”, Remus screamed. <br/>But Sirius had lost all capability of listening. Stuck in the absolute terror of the moment, his lungs wheezing, dealing with it all the only way he could. He laughed even harder, tears running freely. </p>
<p>“This isn’t fucking funny!” Remus did the only thing he could think of. He slapped Sirius over the face. Hard. </p>
<p>The crying died down. Sirius blinked, hand coming up to cup his burning cheek. Remus and he locked eyes. Slowly, they both realised how close they were standing. Shaking, Remus reached out a hand, hovering over Sirius’ injured cheek.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I… I don’t know why… I’m so sorry, Sirius…I…”, Remus stammered. How could he slap Sirius? But in that moment, it had seemed like the only logical thing to do. </p>
<p>“I… I almost died.” Sirius swallowed hard. He began shaking anew, reaching out his arms in an instinctive gesture, searching for warmth, stability. Remus hugged him without a second thought, pressing him close, but tenderly to his body. Sirius buried his face in the other mans’ neck. For a long moment they stayed like that. </p>
<p>It was Harry who broke up the moment. He had watched attentively, listened closely and decided that they had had their moment. Now he was ready to be the center of attention again. <br/>“Fu’ing!”, he yelled with his high, clear voice. “Fu’ing, fu’ing, bloo’y!” He grinned, proud of himself. </p>
<p>Suddenly awkward, Sirius and Remus released each other. </p>
<p>Remus groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. “Lily’s gonna kill us…”</p>
<p>Sirius laughed shakily. “Well, we’ve got another 4 hours to live until she comes pick up little pottymouth over there. Let’s enjoy it while we can!” </p>
<p>He crouched down to Harrys’ eyelevel. “You wanna make some cookies with the dough Uncle Moony made for us?” </p>
<p>“Yeah! Go, Pafoo!” Eagerly Harry grabbed Sirius hand and tugged him towards the kitchen. <br/>Remus sighed and sank in one of the comfy old armchairs standing in the room. He was gonna close his eyes for one minute. Two brushes with death in one day. It wasn’t even, he peeked up at the clock, it wasn’t even two yet. Life truly was never boring with Sirius fucking Black. He sighed again and rubbed his hand over his tired eyes. The boys were going to be okay in the kitchen for five minutes right? After all, what could happen. </p>
<p>This assumption, it turned out, was the second great mistake he made that day. <br/>He woke half an hour later to smoke filling the living room. Within a minute he was out of his chair and out the living room door, not even realizing he was stepping on the Encyclopedia of Dangerous Wildflowers on his way out the door. <br/>He rushed into the kitchen to find it empty, with the oven on at 240°C and the cookies on the tray a black burning mess. Neither Sirius nor Harry were in sight. Remus ran to the oven, turning the dial to off, and looking frantically for the oven mitts found them on the other end of the room. Cursing he ran over, back to the oven and yanked the burning batch of cookies out. He dumped the smouldering tray into the sink and let water run over it. Big mistake. </p>
<p>Great plumes of smoke rose up from the suddenly cold metal and now, now that it all was over, the fire alarm went off. Remus groaned, opened the window, risking his neighbours calling the firemen, but desperate for fresh air. Then he went in search of a broom to switch the alarm off.</p>
<p>Sirius chose that moment to storm into the kitchen, Harry on his hip giggling at the commotion. Sirius was less amused, his eyes wild as he looked for the source of the infernal noise. When his eyes fell on the blackened cookies in the sink, he flinched and hung his head. </p>
<p>“Sorry Remus, I forgot… I was just gonna get something to read with Harry, but the little gremlin here couldn’t decide on a book and then… I’m awfully sorry. Anything I can do?” He looked like a kicked puppy, looking up through his long hair. </p>
<p>Remus sighed. He wanted to be mad. Really. But, then again… Sirius was out of his depth here, consistently. Remus doubted that he had ever made cookies before. He shouldn’t have left him alone. He was as much at fault for falling asleep. And Sirius had been through a near death experience today already. </p>
<p>“It’s okay. We will have to talk about you in the kitchen, perhaps some safety training, but… There you are!”, he exclaimed as he saw the broom behind Sirius. </p>
<p>Sirius looked very confused at Remus words, his frown only deepening when Remus walked towards him only to veer around him at the very last moment to grab the broom. </p>
<p>Remus went back over to the fire alarm, finally shutting off the horrible assault to his ears. He closed his eyes for one bracing moment and breathed deeply. </p>
<p>“Lily never hears of this, okay?” He looked Sirius right in the eyes. The other man swallowed at the unwavering, attentive stare levelled at him. </p>
<p>“She won’t hear from me. I’d like to see Harry again in this lifetime. But the munchkin…”, he answered. “Gonna be hard to keep him from spilling the beans.”</p>
<p>Remus huffed and walked over to them, the broom forgotten in his hand. He looked like he wanted to fly off out the window like a wizard from a childrens’ story. He bent over Harry where he was still sat at Sirius hip. Harry looked up at him with clear green eyes. </p>
<p>“Can you keep a secret, Harry?”, Remus asked the boy in a low voice. Harry nodded earnestly. </p>
<p>“How about we don’t tell Mum and Dad about what happened today? It’s just gonna be yours, Mooys and Pafoos secret. Pinky promise?” </p>
<p>Harry grinned, mischief sparkling in his eyes. <br/>“I can. But I wanna something. So I don’t say.” He looked up with those big green eyes and Remus knew he had lost. </p>
<p>“What do you want to have, Harry?”</p>
<p>“Cookies! Mooys cookies!”</p>
<p>Remus groaned. “Let me guess, Sirius, there’s no batter left?” </p>
<p>At Sirius sheepish grin he could what the answer was going to be. </p>
<p>“Great, and we don’t have any milk anymore…”, Remus grumbled. </p>
<p>“I can go fetch…”, Sirius started. </p>
<p>“You, Sirius”, Remus rounded on him. “You are going to go to the living room, put Harry on your knee and not move a muscle unless I’m in the room. Is that clear?” </p>
<p>Sirius grinned sheepishly. “Too much trouble today?” Remus just looked. </p>
<p>“Okay”, Sirius amended, holding up his one free hand placatingly. “I’ll go to the living room like a good boy. But my little brother is still owing me a favour. I could ask him…?” </p>
<p>“Very well, give Harry to me, go to the living room, DON’T touch anything and call your brother. We, Harry, are going to look for a nice book to read to stay out of trouble.” <br/>He looked straight at Sirius at the last few words. Wordlessly, Sirius handed Harry over, who promptly put his head on Remus shoulder and started sucking at his thumb. The hectic morning must have wiped him out quite a bit. With one last glare levelled at Sirius, Remus left the room in search of a nice book to read to Harry. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Regulus Black arrived at the flat forty minutes later, he was met by a charming scene. He knew where the spare key was hidden, so as not to wake Harry in case he was sleeping, he used it instead of ringing the doorbell. Carefully he made his way through the corridor into the living room and had to bite back a smile. </p>
<p>Remus was sat on one of the armchairs, a sleeping Harry on his lap, a book in his free hand and was reading out loud. Sirius sat at his feet, cheek leaned onto the leg not occupied by Harry, the book almost resting on his head and was listening attentively. Neither of them noticed Regulus appearance at the door. Charmed he listened for some minutes.<br/>In the book a little wolfdog had to bite himself through his life, never having it easy but persevering. Remus was a good reader and Regulus wouldn’t have minded curling up in the second armchair. The whole scene had such a comfortable feeling to it, such a homely feeling, he ached to be part of it. But the shopping bag he was carrying got heavier by the minute, reminding him of his purpose there. </p>
<p>He cleared his throat loud enough for Remus to look up and smile. He gently nudged Sirius, who turned to see his brother uncharacteristically casual in jeans and a shirt in the doorway. </p>
<p>Careful not to wake Harry he got up and bounded over to Regulus as silently as possible. He folded his brother into a bear hug, holding him tight for a second. “Love you”, Sirius muttered under his breath. </p>
<p>“You must really want that milk, Sirius. Do I want to ask what this is all about?” Regulus asked in a normal voice but squeezed his brother back anyways before untangling himself.</p>
<p>“You really don’t”, Remus answered. “Thank you for getting the milk.” As his glance fell to the shopping bag Regulus still clutched in his hand, a frown creased his face. He raised a questioning eyebrow and looked up at Regulus. “I hope that’s not all for us?” </p>
<p>“Well, yes, it is. I didn’t know what milk to get and since Sirius didn’t know, I just bought one of everything?” Regulus grinned sheepishly, looking exactly like his brother for a moment. “So I’ve got biological milk, regular milk, low fat milk, oat milk…” </p>
<p>Remus sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. It was fast becoming a habit and he was blaming the Black brothers for it. Yes, definitely their fault. </p>
<p>“Well, thank you, that wouldn’t have been necessary… Sirius, if you would take Harry…? Regulus, I’m making cookies, so if you want to, you are very much invited to stay for tea and some fresh cookies.”, Remus said in a cordial, if tired voice. </p>
<p>Regulus sensed that he really meant it. He really was invited. “I’d love to”, he answered. “Can I help with anything?” </p>
<p>Remus laughed, handed Harry off and got off his chair, groaning as he stretched. “You could babysit your brother, so he doesn’t attempt to get himself killed another time today. Three is enough for one day I would think.” </p>
<p>Regulus laughed and then grinned like a cat sitting and watching someone pour the cream.<br/>“I’m sensing a story there… What did you do, Siri?” </p>
<p>Remus watched Sirius, who had promptly sat down in the chair he just vacated, squirm for a moment, before turning and disappearing into the kitchen. He could hear the gently ribbing and laughing voices of the brothers from there and smiled to himself. As much as he liked his silent flat, this was better. Almost like a family. Never predictable. </p>
<p>The Encyclopedia of Dangerous Wildflowers was meanwhile still laying on the spot she had fallen earlier. She could feel herself developing a serious crick in some pages and thought venomously to herself, that one failed attempt didn’t loose the whole war. She would try again at the moment when the intruder would suspected it the least.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you very much for reading :) I hope you liked it. If you wanna leave a kudos or a comment you would make my day.  <br/>Please stay home, please stay safe in those unpredictable times we have right now. Have some wonderful holidays and be careful around books. <br/>A big thank you to Oni(i)-chan for always reading my stuff and for bearing my rambeling about this fic/pairing/writing in general. <br/>The title stems from the Kinks song "Predictable" though it has a less to do with the story than in the last two fics. It's a great song nonetheless. The book Remus reads from is "White Fang" by Jack London, one of my all time favourites. I can only recommend it if you find yourself bored in quarentine. <br/>I may update a bit more frequently? I know where I wanna go with this, but...life. <br/>Have a lovely day, <br/>Elofant :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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